Rama quietly retreated and went back to Lakshmana and Sita immediately to tell them what had happened.
"How foolish of me." Replied Sita as she quickly apologized to Lakshmana for brushing off all of his earlier warnings.
Lakshmana was only happy that everyone was safe. They decided that it was time to move to another location in case Maricha came around again with a new plan. So they traveled for three nights eventually resting upon an area nestled into the bottom of a mountain. The dense trees surrounding the cave created adequate shelter and disguise. Here they rested, preparing for the next inevitable encounter.
Author's Note:
This story was a spin off of the Golden Deer story from part B reading. I didn't like how Maricha kind of won this one. I wanted to create a story where none of it happened in the first place so that's where this one came from! Here, Rama catches on to Maricha's tricks (thanks to Lakshmana) and no one gets kidnapped.
The Golden Deer
http://ouocblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/pde-ramayana-golden-deer.html
Source. The prose portion comes from Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie (1913)
 |
| The Golden Deer Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:19th-century_ Ramayana_manuscript,_Rama_Thagyin,_Myanmar_version,_Ravana_(Dathagiri) _sends_Gambi_as_golden_deer_(Shwethamin)_to_deceive_Sita_(Thida).jpg |
Hi Trini, I really enjoyed your spin on the "The Golden Deer." I remember reading the story thinking that Rama was too smart to fall for that trick too. One thing that I think could have added to the story was adding some background information. Maybe including the scene where Sita sees the deer might clear up any confusion that the reader might have. I definitely think adding twists to the original story is a great story writing strategy. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteYes! I was also suspicious of how Rama could be fooled by such a trick. If I saw a golden deer in the forest, the first thing I would be is suspicious. It doesn't exist in nature, and I know that I have enemies. Surely Rama could have come to a similar conclusion. Blinded by love, I guess you do things you wouldn't normally do? Anyways, great twist on this famous story!
ReplyDeleteHey Trini,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your spin on the Golden Deer story, I too did not like that Maricha won in that story. I really enjoyed how Rama did not have to use strength or power to defeat is enemy but used his intelligence. I feel like that is the most powerful skill for a leader to have, intelligence and patience. Did you consider writing the story as if Rama confronted Maricha? I think it would be interesting if Rama trapped and defeated Maricha so he never got the chance to deceit him again. Maybe one thing you can emphasize is the wisdom of Lakshmana. He was the one who advised both Sita and Rama of the deer and without him things could have gone much worse. Lakshmana may deserve more credit then he is given in the original story and maybe there should be more stories about him and his help in aiding Rama on his journey.
Hey Trini,
ReplyDeleteIt is Maricha. It is very unfortunate that you are bragging how you got away from me. Ravana will be very disappointed at me and will probably kill me! I wonder how you saw that small error in my transformation. I was so beautiful! Everybody always wants to focus on your imperfections. Were your sense just heightened because you were hunting or from your brother, Lakshmana's warning. Maybe next time I will try to lure out Sita. She may fall for my tricks. Also, i thought it was weirdly coincidental that as you approached me, my transformation powers diminished. Were the gods helping you? They must have, so that you could see through the plan. I wonder why did you not kill me? You just retreated and hid inside of a cave. You could have killed me and resolved your problem. Oh well, that was your mistake. I will be back.
Trini, I enjoyed how you switched the story up in a very different way. For instance, you take part of the story in Ramayana and completely switch it to give it a new direction. I liked how when you switched the story around, you still made it flow together smoothly and you gave it a specific meaning. It is easy to be lazy with this type of writing when switching up a story, but you make it specific by choosing to add in the detail about the crooked tail. How do you think this change in the story will affect the remainder of the story? I think one suggestion that would tie in the story completely would be to have a dialogue between Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana to further discuss why the deer may have appeared the way it did. I think would further add emotion and better context to the story.
ReplyDeleteHi Trini! I liked how you changed the story to letting Rama 'win'. I didn't like how Maricha was able to capture Sita so easily. Your story was a great read because you had Rama use his intelligence to realize that the golden deer was not perfect like it was supposed to. It is important for leaders to examine and be patient with decisions, which Rama didn't originally have in the Ramayana.
ReplyDelete