"I don't trust this pelican, why ought he do anything for us when we offer nothing in return. This pelican has no charitable past."
"I think you are probably right", stated the crab, "but why don't we wait and see, we don't have many other options."
So the crab and the fish waited in the back of the group and watched as the pelican carried away the first fish. When the pelican came back and landed on the overhanging branch, the little fish thought he saw that the branch was hanging slightly closer to the water. The pelican carried two...three...four...finally on the fifth fish, the little fish watched as the pelican landed on the branch and it dipped just slightly into the water. But by then, the little fish already had created a plan.
The little fish swam the the front with his friend the crab and asked if they could be next.
"Of course!" exclaimed the pelican, who had grown quite tired of fish in his belly and was ready for a side snack of crab. "But how will I take you both together?"
"Well I'll just hold onto your neck!" said the crab. The pelican agreed quickly as he was hoping to finish dinner by sunset and away they went. But as soon as they saw the pelican moving away from the direction of the lake the crab tightened his grip.
"Crab, what are you doing? That's too tight!" exclaimed the pelican.
"Drop little fish in the water immediately and listen to me closely if you want to make it to tomorrow." The pelican obliged but the crab hardly loosened his grip. "I will stay here on your back and you will create a trench that leads from our pond to the lake. Only after it is finished and I watch water run through will I let go and allow you to live."
The pelican had no choice but to do as he was told. Each pile of dirt he dug from the Earth seemed to stretch his mouth larger and larger and he was able to carry away bigger piles of dirt each time he dug. By the second day with the help of a lengthy thunderstorm, water began to flow through the trench and by then the pelicans mouth had grown to be five time as large as before! All the remaining fish were able to swim over to the lake.
The crab released his hold on the pelican finally and warned that if he ever came around them again, he would not let him leave with his life. They lived many happy years in that pond.
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| a picture with a pelican and its large beak (large enough to dig a trench!) Source: google images |
Authors Note
I based my story on the story about the Crane and the Crab that we read earlier. I wanted a version of the story where at least a few more of the little fishies survived. Also, the crane/pelican survived in this story and learned his lesson! I changed the crane to a pelican because I wanted there to be some folklore behind why the pelican's beak is so big and it made it seem a little more realistic that it would be able to form a trench it two days.
The Cunning Crane and the Crab
The Giant Crab, and Other Tales from Old India by W. H. D. Rouse.https://sites.google.com/view/jatakas/crane-and-crab
Hi Trini Dean,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story. I loved how you changed the crane to a pelican and gave like an origin back story about its giant beak. I thought that was such a creative idea on your part. I could never come up with something so clever. I also liked how the little fish and crab teamed up and saved the rest of the fish and that the majority had a happy ending. Great story!
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ReplyDeleteHey Trini, you story was great. I liked how you added the friendship between the crab and the fish. I think that it was a creative way to shift the tone of the story a little bit. I also liked how you handled the crab’s threat to the pelican and the tone and dialogue from that. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHey Trini!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your spin of The Cunning Crane and the Crab. I thought it was very intelligent of you to change the crane to a pelican. This story gives an explanation as to why the pelican has such a large beak. I liked how you introduced that the bodies of water were so close, but the fishes could not jump to the other. Then the progression of how the pelican's beak got larger as he carried more dirt in his beak to connect the two bodies of water was brilliant. I could not quite figure out all the changes that were made from the original story. Therefore I went to the original Jataka Tales of The Cunning Crane and the Crab to have a better understanding of the story. If you expand on your Author's note by providing more details it would help clarify the differences from the story. I think that if you included a small part of how the crab and fish became friends would give better reason as to why the crab helped the fish. I only say this because it seems unlikely for a crab and fish be friends.
Your classmate,
Joanna Yoon
Hi Trini!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you let the pelican live in the end, and how you made the small fish and crab friends. It shows are more forgiving, intimate , and caring side to the crab, since he made a deal with the pelican to create a trench for the rest of the fish, and not just something for him, like in the original story. However, in the original story, there a slight backstory as to why the crane was to not be trusted, and I was wondering exactly why the fish thought that of the pelican. Was there a previous reason that that particular fish did not trust pelicans? Also, you put in your story that there was a thunderstorm that helped the trench building process, but in the beginning, you stated that there was a drought. It is a minor detail, but I think it would fine if you left out the fact that there was a thunderstorm, or some other way to correct the disparity so that the story remains consistent and truer to the fact that the fish need to relocate.
Hi Trini!
ReplyDeleteI love how many traditional stories will explain why creatures in nature have 'unusual' parts from other similar creatures, and I thought it was great how you included this aspect in your retelling! Changing the crane to a pelican definitely enhanced your story in that respect. I did not realise until the author's note that this was the intention however, so perhaps if you included a little line at the end of your story (or maybe at the beginning) hinting at the pelican's beak becoming large due to this story, it would help the reader better see what you are trying to do. I was also wondering if you meant to put two "the"s in the 5th paragraph, and how the fish knew that the pelican had no charitable past. Was that just from his experience in the pond, was it left up to the reader to decide, or is there some kind of backstory that could be elaborated on later? I really enjoyed your retelling!
Hi, Trini! I thought your story was well-written, and I enjoyed reading every minute of it! In your version of the story, the crab is actually a decent animal in trying to better the lives of the remaining fish. I think that in the original story the crab waited till it was the last creature in the pond before it made a plan to execute the crane. What made you decide to change the character up a bit? Furthermore, I thought that it was really clever that you decided to change the animal in story from a crane to a pelican. This way, it made sense that the crab was able to use the pelican and manipulate it to dig a drench for the remaining fishes to swim over the to the larger shaded lake. I also liked how you added the little bit about the thunderstorm that aided the pelican in creating a pathway for the fishes.
ReplyDeleteHey Trini! I really enjoyed your story, I thought changing the crane to a pelican was a really clever way to modify the story and add a folkloric element. I also love that you incorporated a happy ending for the whole pond, did you consider including some dialogue between the cautious fish and the ones that trusted the pelican? It could add some dramatic irony as we already know what is going to become of those who trust the bird. How do the rest of the fish that are saved respond to the quick thinking of the crab and little fish? I'm imagining it kinda like Rudolph, with everyone mocking him and leaving him with only a crab for a friend before ultimately seeing that the little fish saved them and they were wrong. Just a thought...really excellent story, you write in a very clear and well organized manner that also continues to captivate my attention!
ReplyDeleteHi Trini! I liked how you changed the crane to a pelican! That definitely gives the story your own special twist to it. I also like how you let the pelican live in this story, that way he can learn his lesson. It was really creative of you to extend the story with the reasoning behind the pelican's giant beak. overall very cute story!
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